JOURNAL TO A DAUGHTER

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Today as I begin writing I have mixed emotions. All most 2 years ago I stood at the airport saying good-bye to a teenage daughter, this week I will return to the same airport to greet a young woman. As we approach Mother’s Day I have huge emotions over this upcoming event.

Mother and daughter have both gone through huge transitions. I am so excited to have her coming home--- can’t wait to hug her, look at her face and kiss those dimpled cheeks.

She has been away "tasting the world"--- doing the university of life. The past months she has experienced great joys and huge disappointments, learned how to scrape by on as shoestring, worked in another culture and made friends worldwide. Managed to survive in Spain with no Spanish skills and no bed for the night (thank goodness Mom didn’t hear about this adventure until after the fact). Crisis calls would arrive at 3:30 a.m.. Wallet stolen in Prague, pickpocketed in London. Saw the most amazing hostel in Spain, Amsterdam had unbelievable sights, London is a bustling metropolis all through the night. Stayed with a friend and her family in Sweden, soaking up their culture and religious differences. Explored castles in Scotland. So many different experiences!! She has become a worldly young woman.

The highs and lows of her travels would be discussed on Sunday afternoons--- if we could catch her on her cell phone. Otherwise topics were sent by e-mail I’ve grown accustomed to checking my computer first thing in the morning-- anticipating a message. Re- reading postcards and letters. Looking at the clock and calculating the time difference, wondering if this is a good time to make the phone call.

Yes, she will come home and suffer culture shock. I know she is returning with mixed emotions. How is she going to handle being in her old bedroom? Will she revert to the teenager she was when she left? Her apprehensions about losing her independence may feel overwhelming. She wants to come home and reconnect with family and friends, and yet she wants to retain her new individuality.

During her absence I have maintained a journal--- written to her about my thoughts, fears, hopes and wishes. Hopefully those words will help her readjust and reconfirm how important she is to her family. I’m hoping some of these words will help her readjust to a Canadian life--- perhaps not to stay for long but yet time to reconnect.

Sometimes I thought my heart would break because I missed her so much, because I had no contact for so long I felt kind of numb. But now I’m ready to spend whatever time she wishes together, I will appreciate all of it. When she decides to move on I will undoubtedly suffer the ‘empty nest syndrome’ again but now I know I will live through it and survive--- we have both become survivors.

One thing for sure, her cat will welcome her with loving caresses as if she was never gone. And none of us will ever be the same again--- and she has proven herself--- this girl has ‘guts’!!