Confessions of an Avid List Writer

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Hi, my name is Liliana and I am an avid list writer. There, I’ve said it. The cat’s out of the bag. Let me be clear on something … I don’t just like to write lists. Oh, no. I LOVE to write lists … endless and endless amounts of lists. Let me share some of my favorite with you:

Ø      Things To Do Today (Yes, I know, this is a standard … but, wait, they get better.)

Ø      Things To Do On The Weekend (If you’re like me, your week flies by in a blur, and you’re left with the weekend to cram in errands, socializing, cleaning and everything else you didn’t get to during the week. Too sad for words.)

Ø      Things To Buy (Like, if all of a sudden I had an influx of cash … hey, it could happen! ‘If you dream it, it will come!’)

Ø      Groceries Needed (This list really isn’t necessary since I pretty much pick things up as I need them … I can’t remember the last time I spent more than $20 at a time shopping for food. Not long ago, I went to Superstore with my best friend, Jennifer, to keep her company while she shopped for food. I thought I was going to die of shock when her bill came to $275.00 and she told me that that was ‘a low bill’. Yikes!! I think my way of shopping is less painful – even though I’m sure I pretty much spend the same amount by the end of the month. Denial is a beautiful thing.)

Ø      Household Cleaning Supplies Needed (Boring! Also, not really necessary considering I have a phobia to cleaning – kidding!)

Ø      Things To Get For Cats (Again, not necessary since what entertains my cats more than anything I could possibly buy is a scrunched up piece of paper. Being a writer, luckily those are never in shortage at my house.)

Ø      Birthdays List (Very VERY important – unless you’re anti-social or you have no friends … or, if you have friends but don’t care to remember such important milestones as their birthdays – then, all I can say is shame on you, you don’t deserve your friends. Okay, maybe that’s a bit much … can you tell how strongly I feel about this list?)

Ø      Expenses List (Oy vey, I dread seeing how much money I have to spend – all of it mostly on bills. Tragic!)

Ø      Weight Loss List (Sadly, this one doesn’t differ too much from month to month. I think my scale is broken … must replace it forthwith because I just may have lost weight and not even know it … now, that would be tragic!)

Ø      Daily Positive Affirmations List (Just like my morning coffee, can’t start my day without a warm fuzzy. Conveniently placed right by my coffee machine, I efficiently multi-task first thing in the morning and start my day off right. Splendid!)

Ø      Gratitude List (I must confess that this list runneth over … I simply don’t believe in taking things for granted. Oh, like being thankful for having hot water for my morning shower. If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to unwillingly find yourself taking an ice cold shower because your neighbors have hogged up all the hot water, then you know just how precious hot water is when you have it. Especially first thing on a winter morning after having been out late, really really late, the night before and desperately needing that morning shower to wake up so you can get through your day and function at work. Enough said.)

Ø      People To Call (Thankfully, my friends love me or they would never put up with my hermit and workaholic tendencies. They SERIOUSLY affect my socializing time – as in I don’t have any.)

Ø      People To E-Mail (E-mail is our friend! It’s a great tool for sucking up to my friends whom I never call.)

Ø      People To Send ‘Thank You’ Cards To (Like my friends who tolerate my absenteeism and, yet, still welcome me with love whenever I see them. It goes without saying that my friends are on my ‘Gratitude List’.)

Ø      People’s Favorite Things (Yup, I actually keep a list of the type of soap, lotion, music, coffee, cookies, chocolate etc. that people like so I can refer back to it whenever I need to buy a gift for that person – like when I’m needing to do some serious sucking up and words just don’t cut it.)

Ø      Bills To Pay (Uggh! Denial just doesn’t work here.)

Ø      Appointments To Make (So far, this list is quite useless since my schedule is filled to the rim and I don’t have time to soak for a 15-minute bath just for that fun of it, let alone trek across the city for hours at a time. Hmmmm, maybe I should re-name this list ‘Wishful Thinking’. Hey, I’ve lived with my cavities for this long, what’s another 2 years – kidding! I actually don’t have cavities, thank you very much.)

Ø      Hobbies To Start (This list is embarrassingly empty … I really need to do some major soul searching, but that takes too much time.)

Ø      Goals To Accomplish (One of which includes doing some major soul searching.)

Ø      Exercise List (My nemesis. Enough said.)

Ø      Projects/Repairs Around The House (I’ve had it with myself for not changing that darn burned out light bulb in the front hall … I am independent! I am capable! Surely, I can change something as insignificant – or actually quite significant – light bulb! Sheesh, I’m disgusted with my laziness – er, I mean busy schedule!)

Ø      Things Needing Organizing (You name it, and it needs organizing. Drawers, closets, kitchen, bedroom, living room, front hall, bathroom, cupboards … out of sight out of mind is starting to stress me out, since I can’t quite get the ‘out of mind’ part right. Being in my house is stressing me out! Something needs to be done … maybe I’ll move.)

Ø      Foods To Stay Away From (So far, this list has met with MAJOR resistance! If I can’t have ice cream, cake, burgers, and pizza what will I eat all day? How will I survive??? )

Ø      Healthy Foods To Eat Regularly (Hmmmm, does an iced cappuccino fall under ‘dairy products’?)

Ø      Good Deeds To Do (Now, what is that saying about ‘all roads are paved with good intentions’?)

Ø      Charities To Support (I started this one as a New Year’s Resolution, but somehow I think supporting family members is not quite what I was aiming for here.)

Ø      ‘What Are My Dreams?’ List (Think big ticket items like living by the ocean in a bungalow and being independently wealthy and a well-known author who writes only because of the sheer love of writing, not because I need the money … filling this list wasn’t too hard for me. I like to dream big.)

Ø      Cities I’d Like To Visit (As long as I can remember, New York and San Francisco have always been my top choices.)

Ø      Vacation Spots (Hahahahahahaahahaha … I crack me up! I don’t think I even know the meaning of ‘vacation’. A girl can dream, though, right? ‘The sun will come out tomorrow’ and all that jazz …)

Ø      My Favorite Movies

Ø      My Favorite CD’s

Ø      My Favorite Books

Ø      My Favorites Quotes

Ø      My Favorite Actors (I think you get the gist … you never know, one day I could wake up and find myself on ‘This Is Your Life’ game show and need to produce this information at the drop of a hat … I’m a firm believer in being proactive!)

Ø      Qualities I Look For In A Mate (Yes, sadly, I am single … but it is strictly by choice! I have yet to meet another human being that I want to spend 24/7 with, other than my cats … and, yes, my cats are like human beings to me! My sister says I have issues. I can’t comment on that – or I won’t.)

Okay, now keep in mind that these are just ‘some’ of my favorite lists, which means that I have lots and lots more of these lists polluting my wallet, purse, day timer, kitchen drawers, nightstand, hall closets, jacket pockets, pant pockets, and books (they make great bookmarks).

I really don’t know what I hope to accomplish with these lists. Once written, I tuck them away and forget about them. My therapist says it’s a control thing (as in I’m-freaking-crazy-and-desperately-trying-to-grasp-at-controlling-my-reality – but she’s too nice or professional to say that).

Just as an aside, I love saying ‘my therapist’ … I feel so chic (albeit a poor one because going to bi-weekly sessions for the past 2 years is really quite costly – okay, so I’m exaggerating on how frequently I go, but trust me, it’s still expensive).  Plus, all the stars are ‘therapist’ dropping all the time (as in ‘my therapist said to me the other day’ … ‘when I see my therapist’ … ‘my therapist suggested’ …), so why can’t I?

Okay, back to what I was saying … it doesn’t help matters that most of my lists are spontaneously written on restaurant napkins, bank statement receipts, discarded envelopes, and margins of flyers. Occasionally, I get it right and jot down a list in my day timer. When this happens, it is truly a cause for celebration since a ‘to do’ on one of my lists is to start writing lists in my day timer. Yay, me!

But, my absolute favorite place to jot things down is on the top of my hand. Wherever you go, you are guaranteed to never lose your list – well, unless you wash your hands. Then if you’re smart (like me), you’ll just quickly re-write what you had on there before you forget. I know, it sounds like a lot of work, but it really isn’t. If you compare it to the alarming feeling of finding yourself forgetting something important, then all the hassle really isn’t hassle at all. Right?

Each time I misplace one of my lists or forget to jot something down, I resolve to get it together and be more organized (in fact, that’s also another ‘to do’ on a list). I may not always refer back to all my lists, but at least it comforts me to know that they exist. And the odd time I do want to refer to a list and I can’t find it, well let’s just say that my world as I know it stops for a few chaotic hours. Sheer PANIC ensues. Then I tear my place apart like a mad woman and the cats make a mad dash for cover … poor things. If the tufts of fur I find all over my place is in any way connected to my craziness (which I strongly suspect it is), then I’m really needing to up my therapy sessions, ‘cause clearly seeing my therapist every other day is still not enough – kidding! (Hey, I just ‘therapist’ dropped again … I feel so cool).

You know,  I think my enjoyment (read ‘obsession’) with writing lists is because of the writer in me. I just like to write, that’s all. And if I’m having a writer’s block, then I make myself feel instantly better and productive by starting and finishing another writing project (i.e., one of my lists).

The heck with my therapist’s theory (doing it again) … I’m not desperately trying to feel like I am in control of my life. Hey, I think I’d have to be pretty darn crazy to feel like there is such a thing as being in control of one’s life. Right? What about fate? What about karma? What about ‘que sara sara, whatever will be will be’? Okay, I’m off on a tangent here … that’s another article. Which reminds me, I should write it down on my ‘Possible Articles List’. I think you know by now that I’m not kidding when I say that, right? Hey, I can’t count the many brilliant (not an exaggeration, thank you very much) ideas I’ve failed to write about because I didn’t write them down.