BIG ‘GIRL’ PANTIES

Comments

There comes a time in every girls life when they have to let go and take a giant step into the world of adulthood. Time to put away the bikini briefs, the thongs, the itsy bitsy pieces of growing up and put on the ‘big girl’ panties! Whether you like it or not, it happens. So "Suck it up, and put on the Big Girl Panties", Princess!!

Life can often throw things your way and there are times when you need that extra boost, or need to suck in your breath and get hold of yourself. Time to move on with those dreadful decisions and tasks which can’t be ignored. Time to heed the warning and deal with the necessary changes. So take the lesser of two evils and ‘suck it up’. Grab your guts, pull up your bootstraps and step into the unknown. Damn it girl, go for it!!

Have you heard the saying: ‘The only thing you can count on in life are death and taxes.’? Well, I would like to expand on that thought and add one more thing -- add the concept of ‘change’. The other 2 are certainties, the 3rd is something that a person has to accept. Change sneaks up and appears when you least expect; some change is by choice, some is forced and some by destiny. Some types of change you have control over and some you don’t, but in the end alterations will come whether you want them or not. That’s when the ‘big girl panties’ can come in mighty handy.

I don’t know about your life and how the changes have occurred but mine has consisted of a series of events -- high school, college, moving, marriage, children, houses, jobs, promotions, loss of parents, siblings and friends-- the list has included both major life changes and small subtle changes, such as gray hair. A change is always a challenge-- some are simple, some are never easy, some sneak in quietly-- always a transition. Along with these changes comes some stretching and growing. Some gut-wrenching stretch marks, gouges the size of the Grand Canyon-- not quite so pretty- but just as big and definitely as deep. Events when you have to suck in your breath and grip the steering wheel, go for the ride and scream on the way down. Depend on those ‘big girl’ panties-- you’ll probably need to change them at the bottom!!

Perhaps some stretches are a little more uncomfortable than others-- such as the stretch marks left from having those adorable babies. You know, the little darlings you would give your eye teeth for and the charming little angels that spit cereal all over your clean kitchen floor. Most times you would never send them back, but there are days when it is pretty tempting. So every morning you can appreciate how much you love them just by looking down and running your hand over that once smooth tummy. Ah yes, they are so worth it!

And then there are the type of stretches required from a challenging new position, or a new job -- those stretches are definitely growing pains. The days you want to pull your hair out because the boss assigned you a huge task and you have no idea where to start, and there isn’t a soul in the company willing to give you a hand. The ultimate in frustration! So slip on your ‘super girl’ undies and check the ego at the door; if the job is be done then this is the time to ‘suck it up’ and get it accomplished. And even the physical stretches required in yoga or tai-chi -- those can be equally challenging when they are new to the body. Muscles cringe and nerves stand on end, waiting to be forced into unnatural new positions. In both examples after the stretches comes a great sense of accomplishment and pride in reaching the intended goal, after completing the task-- makes a girl fell taller and stronger. Wow-- the brain surges with new electricity and the heart pumps extra rich blood Definitely a surge of ‘girl power’.

Another example would be the big change of going from a cute little girlfriend, concerned about planning the next big date to the big girl wife, complete with a list of household chores. Once the fairy tale wedding has come and gone, it’s time to jump into reality. No more decisions in regards to table centerpieces, candy or chocolates, D.J. or a band, netting or streamers. Now it’s the decisions of household chores, which parents house do you go to for holidays, who will have the chore of taking out the weekly garbage, who picks up the dirty socks, who will run the dog to the vet, balancing the check book. Yes, huge life changes -- light years apart.

Many years ago when I was stretching my wings as a teenager, I would often stay weekends with my girlfriend and her family. Now her Dad was a gentleman from the old school. He believed that no matter how late the party went, or how tired you were, or how many friends stayed over on Friday night, there was work to be done and every person pitched in. I can’t tell you how many times we would see the sun creeping up over the horizon as we would sneak into bed and sure enough not long afterward would come the bellow from downstairs that it was time to get up, "There were chores to be done!" Away we would go, bleary eyed and dragging our feet-- but out we would go, to work off the effects of last night. And needless to say I would go back again time and again-- even though I knew what to expect. This was a time when I would pull on the ‘big girl’ panties and head out to the meet the consequences.

There are times in every girls life when the changes are beyond your control such as the loss of a loved one; a parent, a child or a friend. Grief is one of the most dismal feelings in the world. And yes, the old cliché stands true ‘time heals all wounds’. Time does wonders for the soul but when you’re in the midst of the crisis it is hard to believe you will ever feel normal again. That's when the ‘big girl panties’ become a valuable tool-- lean on them and wear them whenever you need that extra boost-- they can provide you with the extra support you need to carry on. It’s OK to cry when times are tough, tears are a good release, but there comes a time to dry the eyes and move forward. Stretch and grow-- use those panties.

One of the biggest lessons you can learn as a young girl is to accept the responsibility for your life. Should things go astray don’t search for another person or thing to place the blame on. Stand tall and take the repercussions like a ‘big girl’. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but always do so with reason and tact. Your actions, and your decisions will determine what kind of life you will lead.

As you progress through life decisions are made and you will carry forward; some decisions are right and some are wrong--- face it, you have a 50% chance of getting it right. When wrong decisions take place don't fret too much. Often, the best lessons learned are the result of a wrong decision-- -- this is the time to use your ‘big girl’ panties; slip into them and carry on. Go forward with confidence and the mistake won’t seem so large. Keep in mind, that most people don't even realize someone else’s errors-- they tend to be focused on themselves. Therefore your errors will seem inconsequential.

Lean on girlfriends. They have often been in your shoes , or if not, they will listen and support you during your time of need. They will help you slip on the ‘big girl panties’-- one leg at a time!

Now I suppose this could sound quite harsh, but in reality it’s just a good piece of helpful advice. And I wrote this piece referring to the female gender, but think about it-- the same concept can be applied to the guys too. Hey boys, put on your ‘big boy gitch’! This is the kind of stuff every person needs to hear occasionally. After all, life is a roller-coaster of ups and downs, a hair-raising string of adventures and mishaps. Sometime the ‘river of life" runs smoothly and sometimes it consists of a series of revolving rapids. Tumbling and turning, twists and falls. So when the tough times come be prepared to slip on the ‘big girl’ panties and deal with whatever comes your way. Learn to take it in stride, take it with a good sense of humor and then the rapids won’t seem so rough. Plus have a good support system in place-- friends and family can make a world of difference; after all many of them have probably gone through similar circumstances and they have the scars and war stories to prove they lived through the ordeal. They will provide the laughter, comfort and the occasional glass of wine to weather the storm. They will make those stretches more bearable, they will help you adjust when you slip on those ‘big girl’ undies.

No matter the change or the challenge your ‘big girl’ panties or your ‘big boy’ gitch will grow to fit the situation. Remember, elastic has a lot of give.

Finally in conclusion I challenge any of you out there to write and tell me of times you have had to pull on the ‘big girl’ panties. Tell me about times you’ve worn them, or perhaps you have a story about someone else. And the embarrassing stories are definitely allowed! Once I have a few stories collected I will include them in an article (with your permission). Keep in mind, names can be kept anonymous. Let me share your story, share your definition of "Suck it up , and put on the Big Girl Panties".

All contents of this article are copyright by B Fraser.

Producing any part of this article without written consent is prohibited.

Copyright 2005

Comments, concerns or feedback can be directed to

b-fraser@telus.net