How to get along better with your team: #3

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Article #3 – Be clear when you talk

In this series of 4 articles we discuss how, by understanding your own and others’ styles and approaches, you can learn to flex and adapt your communication and behaviour to be more effective with others.

By Janet Wright

Lack of clarity in your communication can get in the way of a smooth working relationship.

Studies have shown that 75% of oral communication is ignored, forgotten or misunderstood. It’s a small wonder that the message we intend to send is often not the one that is received.

Part of the problem is that many of us are not great listeners. We can think much faster than we can speak, so we tend to get ahead of the person who is speaking to us and then get distracted. Also, we may be thinking ahead to our clever response rather than really focussing on listening. Good listeners:

* Use eye contact, facial expression and verbal cues to demonstrate they are listening

* Do not interrupt!

* “Listen” to both verbal and non-verbal messages

* Ask questions to clarify, not direct

When speaking, remember that there are a variety of reasons why your message may have been misunderstood. Something as simple as emphasizing a different word in the sentence can completely change its meaning. Words themselves can mean different things to different people.

Don’t assume that people have understood you even if they are nodding and agreeing. Ask questions to make sure you are both on the same page. And be specific – if you say, “Do you know what I mean?” you may get a yes even if you aren’t even close to the same perspective. “Do you have any questions?” will often result in, “No” even when the person is totally confused. (Everyone is afraid of looking stupid.)

The best kinds of questions to ask to ensure understanding are open ended ones such as, “Tell me what your understanding of this project is.” or, “Based on what I’ve said, what do you think should be the first step?”. They generate a conversation and you will know right away if you are off track rather than finding out only when something goes horribly wrong with an important project.

Clear communication and careful listening are keys to avoiding conflict and getting along with your team.

Janet Wright is a principal with Baxter Bean, a strategic direction and training company. Janet holds a Masters in Adult Education and Counselling and a Certificate in Conflict Mediation. Janet has built on her impressive educational background to add experience in hands-on program design and delivery in the business and academic sectors. To contact Janet, e-mail her at janet@baxterbean.com.